People often mistake me for someone who is much younger. Much much younger. I think I mentioned this before...
How much?
Let's just say I often attract 17-21 year old boys. A fact that causes me to shudder, stutter, and reel back in physical pain. I sometimes second guess everything I know about myself, left in a helpless wonder.
It's hard enough to meet boys, MEN my own age, let along pretend the ones that do admire from afar, or the ones that do gawk up close, or the more silly ones that spew poetic words trying to reel in a cheap catch, don't exist.
It's just the right one I don't see yet.
But back to looking younger-
The fountain of youth has been ever kind to me. I think it's in every fibre of me, to tell you the truth. My sister often asks me when I'm going to dress my age - I don't know what she means? My mother constantly hopes I'll wear flowery dresses and conform to the staples of a prude librarian. We have very different taste.
When I'm alive, it's my body. When I'm dead - go to town.
I just came back from seeing John Taylor at a book reading. A book about his life in three parts. It was so awesome to see him: so happy, so content. He made me smile, just him being there, seeing him well and full of life.
There are some people who will always be a part of your life, no matter what. Sometimes they don't even know it, and I don't mean in a psycho, stalker sort of way, which I have also experienced and would never wish on anyone. But in a way where there's much respect and admiration/adoration. Adoring someone is a nice feeling.
I've adored few people in my life, and those people never change.
Now back to shedding-
And when I am grey and old. A time when I will no longer admit a birthday has passed. Bestowed in bland conservative slacks and a proper blouse to cover my naked frame. I will be dead.
But before this tragic day should arrive, I will continue to wear my fav rock shirts. I will listen to music loud and skip around the city in busted chucks. I will flirt and laugh with strangers, which I do just cause it comes naturally. I will enjoy my cupcakes and dream, and continue to write scripts that will one day be noticed. And lastly, I will continue to be my undying self, cause myself is something that has no monetary value. I will never be bought.
Never shed.
