the right road.
I was speaking with a friend the other day, I haven't seen them for years. My friend shared with me the grief of finding their way in life and the time it's taking to get from point A to point ... somewhere else.
I feel for my friend, and I know exactly how they feel. It's not easy to be honest with yourself, especially when living in a world that points fingers and gets judgy. And we live in a very judgy world.
I personally couldn't give a shit what people think, and believe me, it's not easy getting to this place. But one thing I don't abide is when perceptions and untruths roll off the tongues of the misinformed: people who are gossipy and stupid, maiming a persons life or character. I always say, if you can't say it to their face, just shut the fuck up.
And right now, at this time, which is 7AM in the morning, I'm truly unsatisfied with the road I'm on. It's a choking feeling yet I have no idea where to walk next. What I do know is that I HATE being told what to wear, and my current job has this particular company that wants to outfit us in a very popular brand. My colleagues are psyched, whooo, free stuff. Me? I'm utterly sickened. I'm very anti-brand, except for Chucks, I love my Chucks.
But about wanting...
I do know that I want to help people, I love people, as broken and messed-up as we are. Works in progress I always say, we are works in progress, or at least I hope we are. Until then (a window creaking open) I will hold my head up, press on, and try to be thankful for what I do have: healthy family, a roof over my head, intermittent/bouts of peace, coffee and hope. Oh, and God. I have God.
... I didn't mention friends. That was not by accident. It's really hard to find true friends. That's another blog, for another day. Or maybe not.
