Forgive me if this post is everywhere. I'm purging.
Years ago I worked for this dating coach who also had and still does have a popular dating/advice channel on Youtube, mainly catering to teens. It was nice for a time, but I needed to move on. It had nothing to do with her, she was and still is lovely.
Anyway, upon assisting her with content for an upcoming post I viewed lots of dating man-woman advice channels, and was floored, and I'm still floored at all the CRAP out there. Mainly men advising women how women should behave:
How to best dress and be confident
How to be emotionally assertive
How they like and want to be touched
Do all this and you'll snag a man!
And don't even get me started on the "Does he like me" signs.
I think messages and advice like this, from men especially, murks up how women might view themselves, and how people view basic normal everyday interactions between men and women. I'll use men and women because this is who these videos are geared to: Women Seeking Men.
The ever faithful quote:
"Men overestimate interest and women underestimate interest" alone blurs so much of the insight and information out there.
I have a friend N. She's beautiful, laughs easy and can talk up just about anyone. I'm the same, to a point. She has a common everyday issue, which is the above mentioned. I also have been very misunderstood.
You see, people are mostly different. We all try to follow a certain set of societal rules but pending what you saw, heard or were spoon-fed, and pending your own fears, insecurities, baggage and scars, it will never be a one-size fits all love connection.
So, back to men giving advice to women on how to be a woman, and the over estimate interest thing; I reel, and I mean stupendously reel at what most women face daily. Ask them, women, if they have ever been treated unfairly, or been misread for simply being a kind, warm, friendly human being.
Someone should inform men as well as the women they date:
Looking at you or in your direction does not secretly imply interest.
Touching my hair is not flirting. Women always touch their hair.
Laughing at something you said? Maybe you actually said something funny.
Touching your arm.... well, some people are just naturally touchy.
Asking you about your life? Making polite conversation is just information.
It's bothersome the number of times women will hold their man close, or the razor eyes that come your way just because your in direct eye line. Again, this is a very common occurrence for all women.
And to all the man-babies out there with a dagger in their heart because a woman doesn't mirror your affection? It's frightening.
So how do you know (for sure) if someone likes you? Because the examples I've given above are what most "relationship experts" will testify that "YES!!" they're interested.
Honestly, the best and only way to know is to ask them out. Or did they ask you out? On a date. Not dutch. The man will and must pursue what they want. And if a man can't even cough up the words to ask a women out on a coffee date... well, that's another page of writing to go through.
Women want men that are pursuant. Men often pursue what they want. Even a shy guy will try to share a few words and geek out a smile. We smile at what interests us, right? Like can you hold back a smile after seeing a gorgeous car, or handbag?
And let's not forget asexuals and demisexuals. You probably know a handful of these people. You might even be crushing on one, or a few, and they will never know it.
That's it.
