Saturday, May 28, 2022

Almost Everyday

  Pups are interesting. It's flattering yet mortifying when a pup sniffs about. You want to be assuring as to not inflict any damage to developing egos, at least I try to. Some pups are more awkward than others, a few are shy, and most are just trying to figure out their game. It's cute.

The other day there was this 10 year old (looked around 10) with his parents walking in the intimates department. He smiled sweetly at me, lowered his head, then fixed his hair and smiled again. It was adorable. I shared about it with a peer. It's sweet, the before pup stage. She shared about a boy caressing a mannequins leg and how his father quickly stopped the hand from moving higher. We laughed, its all so innocent. 

The actions of grown men are different. Married men especially. There's a discernable difference when the gaze shifts, an energy shift. Nothing can disguise that, words clothe nothing. When this occurs one usually takes a few steps back (I do) and withdraw. I'm just sharing this because its always awkward when it happens. I don't enjoy the feeling. 

A few months back I came upon a "red pill" community of men. I had never heard of this, I even asked a few male peers if they were aware of such a group or term. None had heard of such a thing. It's funny what people hold onto to maintain a sense of security and self-satisfaction. The foundation that people choose to stand on reveals much about the road/journey before them. Perhaps life comes in three lanes: selfish, kinda giving, and completely unaware. 

Red Pill: Mostly selfish

Normal People: kinda giving

Stunted or Still Growing: completely unaware        

Red Pillers need to be the main attraction, very choice driven, finicky about their world/frame. It makes them stand taller when others appear smaller, and the women must be in their prime and comfortably submissive. At least this is what appears to be their world. They also consider themselves to be alpha. 

Normal people are just regular. Their needs are based on what's available, what they're able to attain, and they generally are fair and give what they can. These people are everywhere. They don't need the fastest car, the hottest mate nor the thickest wallet to feel 70% secure. Sure they want more, but who doesn't want more.

Stunted/Still growing are just as many as the normies. We've all had trauma that leave scars, and wounds we don't realize need TLC. I think we get stunted to the age when the trauma created the most impact, like an earthquake mussing up the foundation, the very roots of who we are changed forever. Normal people are most probably mixed into this group. It's not simple nor easy to brush off a past that never felt safe. 

Ok. back to pups. 

Don't want one. Who wants to raise a pup. I'm not interested in making a man, like, how boring would that be. I used to know women that got excited in such projects and their men very willing. I still scratch my head with that one.

Yeah, these are merely fun to think about. 

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Today, for now

 It was nice to be out last night, I nearly forgot the feeling of being in a crowd, how quickly it all returns - yesterday. The Batman was fun to watch, heck, even the near-sighted chair kicker didn't ruin it. Exhale. 

You know that breath, the one conjoined with uncertainty. 

Has it been close to a year since my last post? Probably. Has anything changed? Some, some life-changing bits, but I'm mostly rocked by boredom.

It's so fucking hard to plan, to see beyond a few months, to invest in anything. The anvils keep dropping, some more imaginary than others, others very real, but all in all their path is met with an intended target. 

My work has slowed, so I'm looking to knock knock, but not at the expense of wasting my or someone else's time. I hate wasting time, though I can ace that by watching/listening to podcasts about the silent happenings of out there. So silent that its screams are a kin to a whisper.  

So...CBDC. It's terrifying, yet perfect to seal people into submission, a slow, perhaps quick transition. When following in alignment what could be so wrong, but a misstep might break the spell. I hate that people are camped on this/that side, swayed by the "authorities" doling out stipulations to live/breathe/think. Trust is earned, never to be just handed over. And fear is a beast with many hooks and binds, and only we have the rule to decide how far it reaches us. I hate fear.

Huh, look at the time, must run some errands. Maybe I'll write again. Something more happy.


unrelated note: someone close to me accused me of desiring something that belongs to them. i don't think our relationship will ever be the same. i'm still in shock, i never thought it would ever go there. does time heal all wounds...

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