Beyond ur Sight

The world scurries. Time flies for the young and old. As if on a battleground, time feels like an opposing force, bent on a mission to end the race of all races.

Time.

I was speaking with a colleague about 'time' and how it feels out of rhythm. As if the clocks are working overtime. Minutes rocket like seconds. Hours drain like minutes.

Do you notice that?

What's going on up there? What's going on everywhere?

It's easy to just sit back, relax and drink what's handed to you. It takes more effort to ask, "what's in it?". Stare into the glass long enough to see gray drink begin to change colour. I hope you're staring long enough, asking enough to see more than what's there.

Dropping crude doesn't mean "road trip". More is at hand. Dubious more.

Military vehicles on neighbourhood streets. Military. Where did they suddenly come from? And why are military vehicles being carted on highways and byways, the lone trucker wonders while trying earn an honest living.

What could be up ahead that is beyond our sightline?

It's not just time. It's not just incurable diseases that people seem to be suddenly cured from. It's the unspoken. The hush we're all too familiar with. 

Sure, I've said little white lies here and there. Nothing major. Just words that involve my tiny fishbowl. "Do you think I'm vain?" a friend will ask. I could be thinking "yes, but I like you anyway" but I'll smile and say something like, "You just care about what you want, and that's okay." I'm not lying, I'm rephrasing what they already know.

I can be totally honest with my sister. But we're that type of family. Brute honesty. We laugh about it.

But the ruling jellyfish tries to push, shove and mold this world into something they can control and liquidate - they're messing with a much larger fishbowl, a world bowl. And we have every right to bite back. They're the minority. 

Even the church. It's not just about feelin' good and gettin' favor. You're so off the rails.

I'll try not to be too serious in my next write up. I'm just unclogging my brain.

http://youtu.be/-ALRLZQf42s

nite

Fucking Lost

I've been away for a while. Fucking lost, blind, walking in a blackened room with arms stretched out, feeling my way through the dark. It sucks to be in this place and not even realize you're there.

side note: a friend came into town for work, a yearly Festival that bombards my city with glitz and flashbulbs, that's where we met. she's such a good person and I miss her terribly. maybe I'll visit her in Paris next year.

Back to being lost. Fucking lost. So lost, parts of me vanished, the good parts, the parts that made me sane. And like a squirrel I'm quietly searching for parts of myself that I buried all throughout this year.

Not all of me is gone. Thankfully.

I'll share what this "lost" thing is...perhaps. Later.

I've recently entered a new land. One where a multitude of colours rain down from the ceiling. Scents spout from every nook and cranny as people scurry about in uniform dress, prettying what is naturally beautiful and enhancing all that is hidden. And in the last few days we've been flooded with green. Lots of it. 

I often feel lost in this land, though the natives are sweet and welcoming. But I must leave. I'm dying and drowning in this beautiful land, and it's my own hand that will rescue me.

1am and my eyelids are about to drop. I'll hit the sheets in twenty.

another side note: have you ever gotten this strange feeling that your friend likes you more than a friend, and that friend is a she? this is for all the women reading. ...yeah, I'm going through that... strange feeling. I like men. I can easily appreciate a woman's beauty, but that's it. Time will unfold more details.

Now there's another Lost something. Love. Been fucking lost for a long time.

Will stop saying/writing F*** for tonight.