I've been away for a while. Fucking lost, blind, walking in a blackened room with arms stretched out, feeling my way through the dark. It sucks to be in this place and not even realize you're there.
side note: a friend came into town for work, a yearly Festival that bombards my city with glitz and flashbulbs, that's where we met. she's such a good person and I miss her terribly. maybe I'll visit her in Paris next year.
Back to being lost. Fucking lost. So lost, parts of me vanished, the good parts, the parts that made me sane. And like a squirrel I'm quietly searching for parts of myself that I buried all throughout this year.
Not all of me is gone. Thankfully.
I'll share what this "lost" thing is...perhaps. Later.
I've recently entered a new land. One where a multitude of colours rain down from the ceiling. Scents spout from every nook and cranny as people scurry about in uniform dress, prettying what is naturally beautiful and enhancing all that is hidden. And in the last few days we've been flooded with green. Lots of it.
I often feel lost in this land, though the natives are sweet and welcoming. But I must leave. I'm dying and drowning in this beautiful land, and it's my own hand that will rescue me.
1am and my eyelids are about to drop. I'll hit the sheets in twenty.
another side note: have you ever gotten this strange feeling that your friend likes you more than a friend, and that friend is a she? this is for all the women reading. ...yeah, I'm going through that... strange feeling. I like men. I can easily appreciate a woman's beauty, but that's it. Time will unfold more details.
Now there's another Lost something. Love. Been fucking lost for a long time.
Will stop saying/writing F*** for tonight.
