Cold Wax

The cold wax grows, it's a disease. Such unease, this disease. It spreads like a cancer, eating through the soul, the spirit, heart and mind. It leaves tiny fragments of yesterday when the sunshine felt warmer and the glint of smiling eyes was for everyone. Cold wax doesn't stop spreading just because it's cold, it needs the cold to survive.

How did we get to this place? Can we ever go back? Have we forgotten to feel that much?

Brother against brother. Blood vs blood. All flesh spoils the same.

The chatter is damned deafening, and such noise will eviscerate discernment - that wee still voice, the inner truth, we all have. Words cut deep behind that smiling face. It pays well. IT pays very well. And silence is the most priceless of all. We've all learned to be silent, haven't we? Yeah, we have. When's the last time you couldn't truly speak how you feel, afraid of retribution. 

So dangerous when a hive serves itself. 

I want to press rewind. The only rewind we have nowadays is to harm, belittle or maim. 

I want to press rewind. 

When love was true, more true than now. Love to melt the wax. Love without judgement. Love without your side or mine (fuck that shit). 

update: a new chapter begins. idk what it will bring. holding steadfast to faith: God.
   

Tomorrow

This fishy (me) must swim elsewhere. I'm not escaping sharks, and I'm not running in search of clear water. My broken fin leads to this departure.  

Being broke is never fun. It fucking sucks. 

Tomorrow, what will it bring: More money, Love, Misadventures... worthwhile adventures. An adventure. Something to scarp away the dull. Ignite something. 

I just hate the ... sometimes  ... sucks.

Last night I dreamed I was sitting on a sofa with a man by my side. I was wearing a beautiful blue dress, dressed for an occasion. He was wearing a tuxedo, something like that. He had his hand on my knee; more than just a first date. He was much more than a date.

Yeah. Awesome. Like, where is he, for real, like in real-time. A galaxy or a lifetime away. 

And I've seen some handsome men lately, this job I'm leaving brings that in: eye candy.