I'm a bit too nice. It's the flaw in me. I try to see the good in people, catching red flags, until the ugly spills out. After the stink, I'm gone.
A smile can cover up sooo much, right? But in time the true intention will show itself. It's exhausting to keep up a lie. That's another thing about me... I'm a terrible liar.
I write fiction, lots of it. Dialogue after dialogue, word after word of many conjured truths, and it's all a lie that my imagination drums out. But my characters, they are true, or as true as I try to make them, as honest as I try to make them. I never judge them. I just allow them to be, and then they start telling me who they are and how they feel, and sometimes where they want to go next.
side note:
It's been SUPER long since I've posted. Sometimes, most of the time, I don't wanna share what isn't worth sharing, like, nothing has moved me to share my inner thoughts. I've just been on this strange flatline. Not dead, but just semi-alive, which is worse than dead.
Update: I've been working in film, on sets, meeting it all: the good, the terrible, and the straight up "get professional help, like, therapy. or maybe you need a long vacation...like, find who you are all over again."
I'm not sure how long I'm gonna stay in this department... it's taxing on varied levels. Thankfully my writing is going well, which is my saving grace, my sanity. It gets lonely when you're too exhausted to socialize and be human, which may explain why some people in this business are for lack of a better word: unhappy.
But I will share about this one person. Ouuuu, this person is a bully, cruddy and manipulative. I have to work with them for a few days, and it will be the last I ever agree to ever work with them again. You see, I hate LIARS. I just do. I make no room for them. I tried to see the good in this person, even spoke well of them, because until I've experienced what many have described, I try to not let the words of others become my truth. It's their truth, not mine.
So, yeah. Now it's my truth, and I will share it with people who might benefit from my truth. Like I always say to my peers: sharing is caring.
And now the Up. I have met some awesome, good-hearted people in this business. Like, straight up decent. It's these people I hope to grow with, and see them become the person they hope to be in this "industry".
Until I have life figured out (sorry, pausing for a laugh), I will work. And I will write. It'll be cool. Awesome and amazing.
Thanks for reading
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