This week is crammed: lots of dinners, catching up with friends, some light baking, lots of sleep, and just being still. Silent and Still. Even if it's on the bus from point A to B to C. A delicious mind freeze from the daily funk.
But more importantly...this journey, this life, this one life, this breath I'm taking as I write, thinking of what brilliance I should slap on the page can feel damn singular when you have standards and are not willing to settle.
I'm not perfect, far from it. But I'm trying, everyday, to let go of crap, learn from mistakes, forgive, look above and not to my circumstances, and laugh whenever possible. Laughing helps a lot. Laughing kills pain. Luckily I laugh easy.
I'm just getting tired from the wrong kind of traffic.
When a boy/man starts to like you, whereas from before you were just "friends" on some kind of level, the air around them becomes hazy and still. They suddenly lose the ability to speak. It's sweet. I'm flattered.
I just want to feel butterflies. That awesome, hyper-excited nausea, where every word you speak comes out all wrong, and you spend most of the night re-thinking, re-speaking everything you said, instead of sleeping. Yeah. I wanna feel that. These people also tend to make you laugh the most.
No woman haters. No bed jumpers. No babies. No angry men who need to control, cause they don't love themselves, yet. And take a breath, cause I don't care how much you know about this and that. Enough with that.
Can't it just be like before. When people met organically. When men were cool enough to approach you like a man. Call you like a man. No texting. No games. Just honest, consistent, chivalry.
...I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
