It's hard to notice when you need a trim. Time can be blinding, dulling all the senses. It's only when life gets miserably quiet, or you finally choose to take a peek under the rug that you notice the muck.
Now muck can be just that: dirt. Dirty laundry. A sink full or crusty dishes. A sticky floor. Or a ring around the tub. But it does indicate something: Neglect
2017 has been illuminating. The real, the fake, the just there, the I don't care, or I will never share. It's tough, having to face "things" like a grown-up, which has little to do with age or maturity. It's about keeping it real, and not allowing to settle. Be it friends, lovers, dreams, all the good stuff that makes sleep delicious and the morning worthwhile.
I have snipped without regret. I may eat my actions and regret it years from now. But today, right now... my head shakes.
It's quieter. But I've chosen quieter. A good time to catch up on reading.
Nosce te ipsum. Know thyself. It sometimes takes a lifetime to admit that it does actually take a lifetime to cough up to truth. It hurts like hell to prune bullshit from your life, but courage is its own reward.
Exhale.
But then there are other vines... perhaps a bit too ignored. Much of it due to pain, heartache, awful memories, and the dreaded fear of failure. I'm chewing on this lately, for the passed 6 months, maybe 8. It's killing me, the inner-inner me. That's the awful thing about dreams. There's always a cost somewhere, a payment due somewhere, to someone. Be it the mind, body or soul. I do fear the cost. It's something I never share with people, just with God. Some dreams, hopes, wishes, whatever, are too intimate to hear out loud.
Update on fractured ankle: I can walk fine, but I can't jump or run well. A few more months. Blah.
