Truth is a funny thing, cause what may be true at one time may become something very different down the line.
Truth can sometimes be a lie.
I don't know what LA will bring this time around. I don't even know how I feel at the moment. Well, maybe I do know...I just don't want to turn the page. Some words from the past are coming to light. Words I never shared.
Tone speaks in waves, more than any amount of words. And I'm not here to justify truths/untruths. That's not the point for this vacation.
Truth-truth comes out in time. Always.
I need to focus on other things. Not untruths I have no control over.
**It's a constant battle. To know thyself. It never ends. Stretching aches the bones, leaving their mark. Scars and wounds need time to heal. Another layer of skin on top of another. Grace before pride. Grace before anger. More Grace needed. Much more** Paranoia swallows all rational. Gut screaming. Or is it a lie? That truth that will come out in time.**
In truth, people change. It's funny how people put one another in a box. They're comfortable with that box. You're safe in there. Figured out. No thinking required. Why change?
But people change.
Years pass on. If lucky, wisdom adds on. To know thyself better within the growing pains.
side note: I'm more comfortable with who I am now than 5 years ago. Shit makes better sense after time. I may come off bitchy, sure. I say what I mean. I don't sugarcoat anything. But I'm not hard...I think?
No apologies.
My family keeps pestering me about marriage. That I should be married. That it's time.
The gatekeepers of TIME have spoken. Lightening bolt thunders down.
What do you say other than the oh-so-obvious truth: Haven't met the person to trust my heart with.
That simple.
But you do want to get married, don't you? They ask, trying to figure out my answer before I've spoken.
Of course.
It's not that urgent for me, you see. Having kids is not that urgent. This world is a dang-crazy-place to live in. I'd be frightened to have children.
I'm not here to please.
No apologies.
